The Sweetness of a Child Can Do That

Study of a Sleeping Child

Study of a Sleeping Child (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Last week my son finished his first year of school.  There was a celebration of all the kindergarten classes, where the kids sang and a slide show of the changes over the year were shown on the big screen, complete with great music.  I found myself smiling, reflecting on how quickly that year passed and holding onto my younger child in my lap as I watched with pride and amazement at my son on the stage.  Then I looked to my side at the space that should have been occupied by my husband and my smile faded.  He was in the emergency room.  I had just rushed from the hospital to get my kids and then rushed to get to the celebration – there I was sitting, trying to relax, texting my friends to see if someone could meet me back at home so I could return to the hospital after the festivities.  There I was sitting, still unshowered from the day with an empty belly having had no meals for hours.  There I was sitting, happy and extremely sad at the same time.  Jim was supposed to be here with me.  The plan was we would go as a family.  This statement in and of itself is a big one – it takes a lot to get things in order and coordinated in order to make such an outing possible.  Jim wanted to be there, but of course, in a different context.  He wanted to walk in the room easily as he had during his healthy days.  He wanted to be able to enjoy the moment, breathing freely, just as he had so easily during his healthy days.  He wanted to be an active dad and a healthy one.  I wanted us to be together as a family.  My heart ached as I reminded myself of these facts, the desires so basic and simple in so many ways.

Fortunately the emergency room visit was short this time.  Jim did not have to be admitted into the hospital and what brought him to the ER in the first place had subsided.  I took lots of photos of our son’s celebration, tried to relay the events in as much detail as I could, but of course, I couldn’t come close to capturing anything.  The sadness was so intense.  But then, my sweet daughter decided to fix things. 

After this event, my 3-year old started hugging me so fiercely around the neck that at times it literally hurt.  That night in particular, when I was lying next to her, she turned to me, held my face and kissed me on the cheek.  She repeated this sweetness several more times, turning back and forth as she tossed in and out of sleep.  Finally, she collapsed into her dreams and I stayed awhile longer, studying her face in detail.  I could see the sweet side to her, I prayed this side came out of her naturally and not out of sadness for the circumstances.  But then I realized that this truly was her and how she got to this point was certainly a combination of many factors. 

Both of my children show this sweetness.  They seem to understand subtle things and show extreme concern for them.  Their responses are always refreshing, always welcoming, and always a reminder that things will be alright.  There are blessings to be found everywhere, even on a night that was so contradictory.  The potential to be overwhelmed and sunk was huge, but two little people, ages 5 and 3, sang, smiled, kissed, and beamed with pride, and reminded me that there is good in the world and there will be a better tomorrow.  It becomes alright when a little sweetness at the right time and from the right person comes my way.   My wish for all you that that you too remember the subtle, but oh so important, sweetness in your life; it makes all the difference in the world.


2 responses to this post.

  1. I’m praying for you and your family. It’s indeed a bittersweet feeling, it’s as if half of your body is in the happiness zone while the other feels terribly sad. Children are indeed a blessing from God, they touch you in ways no other person can. They lift your spirit and reminds you that happiness is fleeting, but true joy will always be there whatever the circumstances.

    Hang on, God is faithful and still very much in control.


  2. Thank you so much, what a lovely note. It is so true that God is very much in control.


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