Changing The World Through Resilient Acts: How to Help Children

Happy Children Playing Kids (Photo credit: epSos.de)

I wanted to share a blog with you today on developing resilience in children.  I found this article to be both insightful and reaffirming that I am doing some things “right” with my two children.  What a nice gift!

What I found insightful was the idea of “self compassion,” a term I had not heard of prior to reading this blog.  The idea here is to give yourself a break within a realistic environment.  You want to learn from your actions or the event; you do not want to disregard it too easily.  Here is a quote from the author, Lorraine Hirst, that is worth considering:

Ultimately, my hope is to explain that self-compassion is NOT about instilling a huge sense of awesomeness, as this is the road to narcissism and potential heightened self-criticism. (An ‘I’m OK, you’re not OK’ life position isn’t very helpful to building a cohesive society.) Parents and caregivers can sometimes overdo the self-esteem angle, which is a form of over-indulgence in itself. It is not realistic to think we can all be rock stars, for instance. Firstly, though, a look at our own inner critic is a good starting place for parents and caregivers. If we have self-compassion, then our compassion for others or ability to nurture children in this important life skill will naturally flow.”

The reaffirming part from this article focuses mostly on the second question which centers on helping kids with their resilience.  First acknowledge the event or the feelings and then, second, focus on what might be done  (although “emotional coaching” as a term to describe this is a new one for me too!).  I am reminded by articles such as this one, and by my own experience, that how you choose to view an event is all that matters.  The event itself can be out of our control (or the control of our kids), but how we (or they) view the “after-event” makes all the difference.  Teaching kids to believe in their own abilities and to move in the direction of their own choosing will make them not only more resilient, but more satisfied with life.  They will learn that they can change the world, one act at a time.

Please click on this link to read the article “Expert Insights: Talking About Resilience with Lorraine Hirst of Way2be.me“