I guess the new year always brings in the good and the sad. The reflection of what is not great compared to the wonderful. This was reflected in my day both physically and mentally. As my kids are back in school after the break and I am getting ready to head back to work, I am trying to finish some tasks and tend to matters that I have decided are important now.
The day started off misty and rainy damp. The sky was gray, but then gave way to the sun and the temperature rose. For January, it was a perfectly lovely day. I had to put on my sunglasses and take off my coat. As I was driving to the jewelers, I noticed road signs that stated de-icing efforts were underway and, sure enough, minutes later I saw a truck putting salt on the roads. This struck me as so odd. The temperature was in the 60s and yet we were preparing for snow several days later.
In North Carolina, even if it does snow, it will be sunny and warm within hours to days and the snow or ice will melt and the temperatures will again rise into the 50s. A downward blip to make you rest and reflect followed by an upward surge of sunshine and activity. And so is life…..
Once I made it to the jewelry store, I rang the doorbell and was buzzed inside. It was as if I was stepping into the past. I hadn’t been to this store in years and the memories flooded. I pictured my late husband returning to this store week after week before he proposed to find a flawless, perfect diamond. I recalled the stories of the people there trying to convince him the ring he was considering was perhaps not the best choice since it wasn’t a typical engagement ring (it was the perfect choice for me – Jim was right). I looked around at the style of the store, the fanciness of the décor, the dress of the people who worked there and it was so my late husband. It made me smile, and, of course, it made me sad at the same time.
After Jim died, I continued to wear my engagement ring on my left hand for a long time. Then I decided to not wear it for an even longer time. Recently I have decided I want to wear it again, but this time on my right hand instead (and thus the need to get it resized at the fancy jewelry store). I am excited to get my ring back and to wear it again. Jim did an excellent job selecting a ring he knew I would love and it will always remind me of him. Wearing it again will be lovely. The gloom of the past many years is trying to give way to a sunshine upsurge.
As my life continues to change and morph into the new normal it is, I know I will continue to have periods of misty, damp times. The new year reminds us of this. The new year always brings this chasm – excitement for what is ahead, the possibilities and also the tension that comes from expectations not being met or conditions not being what you want them to be at the moment. Patience is definitely needed as I wait for the sunshine to penetrate through the mist. This past year has been sad and frustrating at times but also very wonderful in so many ways. The promise of the future and the new year is great however and I know my sunshine is on the horizon.